Then I know exactly how you feel!!
These feelings have most recently been in my life in our adoption process, and I want to share about how God walked us through that time. But I think this story could apply to anyone praying about what God is calling them to do, whether it is adoption or something else.
When God begin to first stir my heart about possibly adopting a child from Ethiopia, I was scared and unsure. I knew absolutely no one in our community, church, or the entire state of Mississippi that had ever adopted from Ethiopia. Even as I was praying about it, I just felt very alone and the uncertainties just continued to creep in.
I had read Kristi's blog for awhile, and I saw all the sweet Nashville families that had adopted or were in the process. I saw how they had huge welcome home parties at the airport, family fellowship groups at the park, baby showers for the adopting mommies, and I thought it was so great! But I didn't have that...I had no one. I even thought..."Well, okay God, if I lived in Nashville where I had this huge support system, of course I would do this. But I don't...we will be the only ones. The only ones at our fellowship group will be our own family!"
Well, I had an idea...that maybe Kristi knew someone in our area that had adopted from Ethiopia. So, I emailed Kristi back in March to ask her if she knew of any other families from Mississippi that had adopted from Ethiopia. She did not. Uh-oh...it was true, there was no one.
But she just encouraged me to really continue to pray about what God was calling us to do...regardless. She also said that you never know...some couples in our community might answer God's call to adopt because they see us doing it...and it encourages them in some way.
It was so crazy to me to think that God might ever use us in that way...to encourage others! At that time, I was still so scared and unsure...I didn't even know if we could do it ourselves! :) And she ended by saying she would pray that God would continue to break our hearts for what breaks His! Wow! That truly became our prayer. And we were overwhelmed by God's confirmation of His calling.
It was at this point, I realized something profound...we were called to be obedient to God's calling to adopt from Ethiopia...no matter what!! Whether we ever had any other friends around here that adopted or not. Whether our parents and grandparents approved or not. Whether our community and friends ever accepted our decision or not. Whether we got stared at everywhere we went or not...it just really didn't matter anymore. GOD was calling us to this child, this was HIS will for our life, and that was the ONLY thing that mattered!
And look what happened!! As we started to move forward in obedience, all the fears and uncertainties were replaced with joy and excitement! Every time we took a step forward in the process, we became more sure and settled in His calling...and then the peace came! That sense of peace and fulfillment when you know you are right in the center of God's will for your life! I pray that ya'll will experience that peace, that only comes from Him, because it is amazing!!
Now for the coolest part!! We are starting to see couples around us that are interested in adoption! We were just over at one of our best friends' houses a few nights ago...they are filling out their application to adopt from Ethiopia with AGCI! Another couple came to dinner last night to talk more about adoption...they feel this is something the Lord is calling them to do! I got a message today from another friend at our church, who wants to have dinner with us and ask questions about adoption!! And that is just a few examples...I can't even begin to tell you all the calls, emails, comments I have received from other couples that God is breaking their hearts for orphans!!
Are you seeing what is happening here?? God has shown me all my fears were so unfounded...He has gone way before us, He has a greater plan in all this! God has placed a love and burden for orphans on the hearts of so many couples in our community...we just had no idea!! We had to take a huge step of faith, so that He could show us that. God is continuing to remind me that this is SO HUGE and SO HIM!
So what will YOUR response be? Will you take that step of faith He is calling you to take? Who knows? He could be using YOU to start something in your community! Other couples might respond to His call because they see YOU doing it!!
I know this...God has a plan, it is greater than ours, and it will bring Him glory! The question is, will we be obedient to to His calling and be a part of what He is doing?? Oh, how I pray we will all respond with a big YES!!
"...once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12