God has been teaching me SO much about HIS TIMING lately, and I just have to share my heart. I have to admit that I have been very impatient lately with this whole dossier/home study process. We've been waiting for 7+ weeks for our FBI fingerprints results to come back, and no sign of them. Also, our home study agency is really busy right now, and that process is creeping along at a snail's pace...SLOW! Well, one night last week I started looking on lots of adoption blogs at just one thing...the adoption TIMELINES!
I wanted to see when most people had gotten FBI results back, and I was surprised by what I found. It was so random...some were 2-3 weeks, some 12 weeks, some 7-8 weeks, even saw one that was less than 1 week! There was just no ryhme or reason to it. Then I saw timelines of families that had flown through the home study process at record pace, and I began to feel discouraged. So, I started to question God about why He would allow ours to take so long, when some families had gotten theirs back so quickly? Why does our home study process have to move so slowly?
And then it was "party time"!! You know what party I am talking about? Oh, yes, the infamous "PITY PARTY"!
But just as I was pulling out the party decorations, God spoke to my heart, ever so clearly, and His words rocked my soul..."Alison, this is not about you! And it is sure not about your timeline. This is all about ME and MY TIMELINE! Don't you trust Me? Don't you trust that MY TIMELINE is perfect, and that it is aligning you perfectly with Caroline Faith?"
In that moment, my perspective changed. Our loving, faithful God who called us on this journey to our baby girl, is aligning EVERY. SINGLE. DETAIL. to bring us to the child that He has chosen for our family. It became so clear to me, that He has each family on different timelines to place them perfectly with their child. None of them are going to look the same because each journey is unique. I can't keep comparing our journey to others. Our journey is special because it is simply that...it's OURS! And at the end of it is the baby girl that God has chosen for our family, and His timeline places her directly in our arms on the day that He has already picked out!
And I don't want to try to "jump ahead" of God's perfect plan. I don't want to try to change it...no amount of calling and emailing the FBI incessantly, no whining or complaining to anyone who will listen, no tears, etc. will change His perfect timing. And for the first time since we started this journey (just being real honest here), I am okay with that! In fact, I am more than okay...I am CONTENT and I am AT PEACE.
Well, yesterday morning I prayed that God would give me a sign that He is with us and leading us in this process. I am reading the Bible chronologically, and my daily reading for yesterday was from Hebrews...and wouldn't you know, it contained "THE VERSE"!! The verse that Jody and I have claimed over our adoption journey to Caroline Faith!!
"Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
Oh, I just love how God works! He is in every detail, and I literally wept as I saw that verse. It was my sign, my promise. We are surely hoping for our baby girl even though we can't see her sweet face. We are certain that God has called us on this adoption journey, even though we can't see the end result. And what does God require of us in this journey? FAITH!
We put our FAITH in Him, and He'll handle the rest...the details, the timelines, and even the FBI background checks.