Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Party's Over!


God has been teaching me SO much about HIS TIMING lately, and I just have to share my heart. I have to admit that I have been very impatient lately with this whole dossier/home study process. We've been waiting for 7+ weeks for our FBI fingerprints results to come back, and no sign of them. Also, our home study agency is really busy right now, and that process is creeping along at a snail's pace...SLOW! Well, one night last week I started looking on lots of adoption blogs at just one thing...the adoption TIMELINES!

I wanted to see when most people had gotten FBI results back, and I was surprised by what I found. It was so random...some were 2-3 weeks, some 12 weeks, some 7-8 weeks, even saw one that was less than 1 week! There was just no ryhme or reason to it. Then I saw timelines of families that had flown through the home study process at record pace, and I began to feel discouraged. So, I started to question God about why He would allow ours to take so long, when some families had gotten theirs back so quickly? Why does our home study process have to move so slowly?

And then it was "party time"!! You know what party I am talking about? Oh, yes, the infamous "PITY PARTY"!

But just as I was pulling out the party decorations, God spoke to my heart, ever so clearly, and His words rocked my soul..."Alison, this is not about you! And it is sure not about your timeline. This is all about ME and MY TIMELINE! Don't you trust Me? Don't you trust that MY TIMELINE is perfect, and that it is aligning you perfectly with Caroline Faith?"

In that moment, my perspective changed. Our loving, faithful God who called us on this journey to our baby girl, is aligning EVERY. SINGLE. DETAIL. to bring us to the child that He has chosen for our family. It became so clear to me, that He has each family on different timelines to place them perfectly with their child. None of them are going to look the same because each journey is unique. I can't keep comparing our journey to others. Our journey is special because it is simply that...it's OURS! And at the end of it is the baby girl that God has chosen for our family, and His timeline places her directly in our arms on the day that He has already picked out!

And I don't want to try to "jump ahead" of God's perfect plan. I don't want to try to change it...no amount of calling and emailing the FBI incessantly, no whining or complaining to anyone who will listen, no tears, etc. will change His perfect timing. And for the first time since we started this journey (just being real honest here), I am okay with that! In fact, I am more than okay...I am CONTENT and I am AT PEACE.

Well, yesterday morning I prayed that God would give me a sign that He is with us and leading us in this process. I am reading the Bible chronologically, and my daily reading for yesterday was from Hebrews...and wouldn't you know, it contained "THE VERSE"!! The verse that Jody and I have claimed over our adoption journey to Caroline Faith!!

"Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Oh, I just love how God works! He is in every detail, and I literally wept as I saw that verse. It was my sign, my promise. We are surely hoping for our baby girl even though we can't see her sweet face. We are certain that God has called us on this adoption journey, even though we can't see the end result. And what does God require of us in this journey? FAITH!

We put our FAITH in Him, and He'll handle the rest...the details, the timelines, and even the FBI background checks.

26 comments:

Brittney Galloway said...

What a beautiful post and wonderful reminder of God's plan and sovereignty!

Jennifer said...

So true....i am learning that very same lesson:) He will take us down the path of His perfect timing at just the right time we need to get our girls...what a comfort!!! Praying for peace in the process for you....thanks for all of your encouraging comments-they mean SO much:) In Him, Jennifer

The Hunt Family said...

Oh Alison! I am (or was) in that same place. But God also showed me that it is His plan that is perfect. Not mine. So glad Doug has not wrestled with this. So many times he has brought me back to the truth that God is sovereign. I will rest in that as well. That's the best place to be. Praying for you guys and your sweet little girl that will soon join your family.

Kirby and Anna said...

Awesome post! Thank you for sharing.

JonesEthiopia said...

I know exactly what you mean... I'm not good at waiting and never have been. With both our adoptions, the waiting was so awful as we sat through it. However, as you stated, the girls we brought home are the perfect match for our family. If we'd been a week earlier getting on the list, it wouldn'be E home with us but some other child, etc. Doesn't make the waiting easier while you're experiencing it though!

Polly said...

Thank you for sharing your heart because I have been in the same place. I also am trying to accept that this is about God connecting us and our baby girl and it would be senseless for me to think that my timing is better since I don't even have a clue who her momma is and when she will be born. The wait is hard but I know that on the day I hold her in my arms I wouldn't change one thing to make it happen faster and miss "her". All in God's perfect timing!

Kelly Jo said...

Alison...so glad God gave you a word!! He is so faithful!! I was thinking today, after praying for your fingerprints, that maybe God is speeding us up and making you wait a little so that we could travel together. Wouldn't that be amazing?!?! To meet for the first time in Ethiopia...you never know!! God is pretty awesome like that!! :)

Leigh said...

Alison this is just what i need to read! Pity pary, ohhh yeah, I have been there this week! You know the FBI and I are not getting along to well right now so I totally feel your sadness and disappointment! Praying your HIS TIMING is for your fingerprints to be back quickly and with GOOD results!

Hannah said...

That is beautiful. What an answer to prayers. It is so silly how amazed we are when he answers...we should expect it...and hold on to it...but (at least I) never do...I am always surprised by his awesomeness.

Heather said...

Oh girl!!!! I hear ya!!!!! It just took us 10 days to get our FBI fingerprints. But here we are stuck in the middle of this USCIS mess. Just today Halle Caroline said, " God must be making our little boy SOOO AWESOME and getting him ready for us because it is taking SOOOOO long...!". I keep reminding myself that his timing is perfect....

Kelly said...

I am sure most of us in the adoption process could stand to read this once or twice during our journey!! The words you have posted could not have been more true. I spent months questioning God about the wait we were facing with our daughter...now on the other side of the wait, I look at her and CANNOT imagine anyone else. She is our girl, our daughter, through and through--we should all be SO confident in His timing!!

Ashley said...

I'm going to email you soon....this was a word from God for me!

Melissa said...

It is so easy to get caught up in how everyone else is doing things. I know I did this. But, if we had finished our homestudy in a month or two, then we would have missed Charles Tucker completely. He wasn't brought to the orphanage until three months ago. We would have been matched with someone else. God does know what he is doing, but we often think we know better. How good is God to break us of ourselves and give us his perspective! It is so much better to rest in his arms than fight to stand on our own!! Praying for your process!

Kelli said...

Wonderful post. God's time... hard to remember sometimes.

Lara said...

We must be soul sisters, because I keep viewing this as a race. I have this dream that our case worker will say, "Wow, no one has EVER completed their paperwork so fast!" I'm a little bit type A...And I read people's timelines. A lot. Great reminders for the cuckoos out there like us!

Laurie said...

It wasn't until I was holding my baby in my arms that I fully understood God's timing! May He continue to keep you content and trusting in Him. I'm praying for you.

Our Bigg Family said...

That was most recent memory verse that God led me to!! This is 2x you have posted the exact verse hanging on my kitchen white board!!! How cool is that ! ; )
We sent our off on June 21st and haven't heard anything either.

MamaMimi said...

Oh Alison!! I can remember in distinct detai lfeeling that exact same way! Blog stalking, timeline checking, pleading with God...I'm still not all the way there (29 on the waitlist) but already I have seen God's perfect timing and some of the WHY'S behind the long wait in the paperchase. Ugh...its SO hard, but God has taught us so much and I can only hope he does the same for you! =) Hugs!

J. Smith said...

Hey Sweet Friend! Love your transparency here. The wait is so hard. We are all going to look back on this after it's all said and done and say - that's why God did it this way! HUGS! Jenni

meredith and justin said...

So, so true! I am thankful we are not in this journey alone. It is so awesome how God places people in our lives, even if through the internet, to share in the joys and struggles of adoption. He loves our babies so much and I love watching how He places them first in our hearts and then in our arms.

Christy said...

I needed to read this today! Thanks for being so open! And still praying for those fingerprints for you!

Joshua and Hilary Helms said...

i love that all our stories and timelines are known by God already and that He has it all perfectly figured out! remind me that you felt like this once we're in the process a little more and i'm feeling like this too! (o;

Debb said...

WOW! SUCH A GREAT POST!!! I struggled with MUCH the same feelings ~ and am sure I will again (and again) in this process. I am SO GLAD that our Loving Father helped you find His peace in this, Alison! I had a teary night one evening, waiting for our I-171H and my husband helped remind me that "Maybe God is slowing us down a bit so that we can be matched with EXACTLY who He has planned for us all along!" We need reminders like that! Although I do not wish this waiting on you ~ or anyone ~ I appreciate you blogging about it, as it shows that I am not alone in my impatience at times.

Thank you, God, that you forgive us in our doubt and forms of unbelief! Praise you that you forgive such feelings and gently take us by the hand and remind us that YOU ARE IN THIS! YOU ARE IN EACH FAMILY'S STORY! And your timing is PERFECT!!

I hear that once our child/ren is in our arms, we "forget" all the pain in the waiting. Here's praying this is TRUE!!!! :o) Blessings to you, Alison!

Laurie said...

What a great post! Thanks for sharing. I, too, feel the same frustration in reading different adoption blogs and seeing wait times, which always seem so much shorter than what my agency is telling me. I just have to remember that the journey is not starting when I get my baby or even my referral, but that it already has begun and for right now it's about preparing -- emotionally and physically -- and taking care of me so I can take care of that little one. Thanks for the reminder that God has His own timeline for a reason.

The Braddy's said...

Praying for you guys! We totally understand! I keep laughing when I think that we started this process 10 months ago and this is as far as we've gotten! But God has showed us along the way His timing, and it is always because of a blessing He has had in store for us...so as you wait, know it is for something GOOD! :) Can't wait to meet Caroline Faith...We are so excited to be on this crazy beautifully frustrating journey with your family! :)

natali said...

amen! amen! amen! :)) i somewhat understand, as i'm going through the approval process with the missions program i'm going (1 year) with missionaries next year. but i'm trusting Him and His timing of everything.