Thursday, January 13, 2011

I Wish...

Well, here is what I am up to on this COLD Thursday...


A lot of LAUNDRY!!! 2 loads on the bed already folded, 1 load in the washing machine, 1 load in the dryer, and hopefully...only 2 more to go!

But, here is what I WISH I was doing on this cold Thursday...


Holding our precious Caroline Faith!!!

Ahhh...I don't know what it is exactly, but I am aching for my baby girl. Maybe it's that the crazy busyness of the holiday season is over. Maybe it's the cold temps that are keeping us stuck inside. Maybe it's the fact that we have not been doing much moving on the waitlist lately. Maybe it's that we have been on this adoption journey for 9 months now.

With my other three kiddos, I just had to wait 9 months...and sometimes that seemed like an eternity! But this is different. And just maybe my Momma heart is so used to the 9 month wait, that I am now more than READY to hold my baby girl!!

Just being honest here, patience has never been one of my strongest character traits. So, maybe that is one thing that God really wants to teach me. I know HE has a purpose in the wait. I know that HE has plans for us in the wait. I know that HE has a timeline that is so perfect.

I am going to start praying for lots of patience in the long wait. I really don't want to miss out on the plans that God has for us while we are waiting on Caroline Faith to come home. Praying that I can learn to embrace the wait that God has set before us. But some days, it's just easier said than done.

I cried yesterday because I miss Caroline Faith so much. How is it possible to MISS someone that you've never even seen?? I don't know, I really can't explain it.

But trust me, it's possible.

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we WAIT for it patiently." Romans 8:25

20 comments:

Courtney said...

I have already cried for our little one as well. So hard to explain to someone whose not going through this process...that's why I'm thankful for this adoption family! Praying for patience for you and me.

Brandon and Kari + 1 said...

I know exactly how you feel...I cry sometimes every other day thinking about waiting for Westyn to come home. No one understands how the waiting of adoption is until they are there...it's hard!! We are praying for you, your family & Caroline Faith...All in God's timing :):)

patrick and amy said...

Know right where you are! We are now in month 18 of this wonderful process called international adoption...ha, ha. So ready for it all to be over! Praying for peace and PATIENCE!!!

Kelly Jo said...

I am so glad to have friends like you who "get it". I could have typed this post myself. The wait can be so hard at times. I think it would make us all feel alot better if some referrals would start going out...it has been way too long!!

Leigh said...

It is hard. so so so hard. but goodness is it beautiful! can't wait till you have Caroline Faith in your arms!

Praying for some big time movement this month for all of us! :)

Bonnie Nieuwstraten said...

Praying for patience for you today, that you may see this journey through HIS eyes and with HIS perspective. Can I just tell you?? Your daughter may not even be born yet, or she may not have been relinquished yet. We had so many delays in our paperwork and hassles with the state of OR that I can't even tell you. But what I can tell you, is that if all had followed MY time table, Grace would not have even been at HH yet. That stops me in my tracks. So, ask for a filling every day, and enjoy your 3 sweet ones that you have and rest in the fact that HIS timing is perfect!!!
Looking forward to meeting you at 'Created For Care' in just a few weeks!

Maggie Ethridge said...

"how do you miss someone you've never met" . . . posted the exact same words a couple of days ago on Eliza Grace's birthday. So strange to have a first birthday party for someone who's bed is empty upstairs! They'll all be home in God's time- when will we learn to live in HIS time and not ours!! :)

Stephanie said...

I'm getting this feeling already and we're not even on the list yet. I've had a strong case of baby fever the last few days. Can't even imagine how hard it's going to be for us and has been for y'all on this long road. Praying for patience and peace!

erica said...

I'm hoping for lots of referrals SOON!! It's been too quiet lately! And I know exactly what you mean about missing someone you've never seen or met. Believe me, I go through it daily! May God surround you with His peace and patience throughout your wait. :)

Darcee said...

Thinking about you and your sweet little girl! ♥ PRAYING the phones start ringing like CRAZY so we can at least ZZZZAP ourselves into THEIR TOTAL Excitement... till it's our turn. ♥ XOX

Laurie said...

I was actually paper pregnant for nine months before we got my baby, so we were on the adoption journey for several months longer than that even with the paperwork for a domestic adoption! I know your pain and your heart and so does our heavenly Father. I'll be praying specifically that God will help you trust Him more and wait with grace.

Hannah said...

It's the worst feeling. waiting is harder than anything you'll ever do. Just hang in there because it is SO worth it. Every pain you feel now will be medicated with a love so strong you'll look back and think. I could do that again....and you probably will :)

PS. I LOVE that picture. I keep looking at them @ Etsy but I haven't found one that really looks like me and Sophia.

Future Mama said...

I already know that having patience in the long wait is going to be a struggle for me. Good luck, I'll be praying, and if you find a magical solution...be sure to let me know!!!

Much love,
Future Mama
http://expectingablessing.blogspot.com/

meredith and justin said...

I have been thinking about our daughter a lot lately and missing her so badly. I am sure it has to do with many of the things you mentioned.

I also know that God is teaching me about patience and on waiting on Him.

Janet said...

I hear ya! I could copy/paste this post because it is how I've been feeling as well. I've been stalking the listserv... and still nothing! I am reminded that when I pray for patience, God doesn't necessarily give me patience, but the opportunity to be patient. He then gives what is needed to wade through those times. Holy spirit fill us!

Kelli said...

I feel that ache also...

Praying that you will hold her soon.

Amber said...

hoping that you will move up in the list soon and get to hold your little girl soon!

Debb said...

Oh, Alison! Those days are tough ones. You know that God holds her in the palm of His hand, but your momma heart just ACHES to hold her in YOUR hands! I so get that! Praying that your heart is lighter and that the JOY of adoption soon replaces the ache and difficulties! I simply cannot wait to see your post stating that you got THE CALL!

Heather said...

I am gong to be at created for care and would love to meet you. The daughter we're adopting from ethiopia will also be named Caroline, our Carly. Can't wait for the conference!

Kathryn Lewis said...

You know I've been aching at this 9 month point too =) I'm not sure what it is either - I do think a lot of it is because we have experienced expecting with the end in sight!! This time around there are so many more unknowns. Hang in there and keep praying for God's peace that surpasses our understanding!