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I have gone back and forth (and back and forth) about blogging about the past 24 hours or not. This may not make any sense to some people reading this, but I have decided to post it. I have always wanted this blog to:
1. Glorify God.
2. Share our family and faith.
3. Document our adoption journey, and encourage others to adopt.
This post is a part of our adoption journey that I want to be documented, and so here goes...
As I was getting in the bed at 11:15 p.m. on Saturday night, I felt it. A prompting in my heart. I felt restless even as I laid down. As soon as I put my head on the pillow, I heard a voice in my heart saying, "Get out of bed, get on your knees and pray for your daughter. Intercede for Caroline."
I knew the Holy Spirit was telling me to pray for our daughter. So, I got up, went into our bathroom, got on my knees and earnestly prayed for Caroline. I just felt like something was wrong. She needed me. No, she needed God. She needed Him to intervene.
I prayed and prayed and then felt a true peace as I went to bed that night. A divine peace that only comes from Him. We went to church the next day, and everything was fine. Although, Caroline remained heavy on my heart throughout the morning. I think about her all the time, but this was different. It was a heaviness. Don't know any other way to explain it.
During the sermon, our pastor preached about prayer and fasting. He called our entire church to a day of prayer and fasting on this Wednesday, January 5th. I felt the Holy Spirit again say, "Pray for your daughter." I immediately knew that I would dedicate this prayer day to specifically praying for her.
After church, we went to lunch with some friends, and then I had to go to the store. I purposely try not to go to the store on Sundays, but Carson had to have some extra school supplies to take to school today. The shopping trip was non-eventful. Everything was fine.
Until I got in the car to drive home. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I burst into tears. Something was wrong with our daughter. The Holy Spirit was prompting me again to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. Through my tears, I just continued to pray for her. It is such a surreal experience to cry out to God for your daughter that you have never seen, you have no idea where she is, you don't even know if she is born...you know nothing except the fact that something is wrong. She needs help. She needs the Lord to wrap His arms around her and rescue her.
I got home, and through my tears, told Jody everything I had experienced in the last 24 hours. Well, less than 24 hours really. That was the last prompting I've had, although she is still heavy on my heart. I will be praying for her all day on Wednesday.
I know I may sound crazy, but this is the first time God has prompted me like this (to urgently pray for Caroline Faith) during this whole journey. There was one day in April, when I was urgently prompted to pray for her birth mother.
God is giving me peace, and I am resting in that. I am resting in the fact that Caroline Faith is SAFE in His arms. And truly, there is no better place to be than in the arms of your Father.
I should know...that's exactly where I am too.
"He gathers the lambs in His arms, and carries them close to His heart..." Isaiah 40:11
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37 comments:
I am saying a prayer for her right now! It is encouraging to me,(not crazy) for you to be obedient to the Holy Spirits promptings! It means that you are listening to His voice. I will also be praying Wednesday for you and your family. I am finding this process bringing us closer to Him-even through the hard times!
I'm glad you shared, one day God my decide to let you know exactly why He prompted you to pray! Maybe he won't but either way I'm glad you did share it! Praying for your precious Caroline Faith and so thankful that our great God know EXACTLY who she is and what she needs! Praying for you too friend, this journey is not for the weary!
I stopped and prayed for Caroline Faith as soon as I read this. I prayed for God to hold her and protect her, to keep her healthy and safe......it's so hard not to have our hands on our babies, but our creator definitely does!! I'll keep praying for all of you to have God's perfect peace as you continue to obey Him on this amazing journey. You may not know what Caroline Faith needs, but God certainly does!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. Sometimes it is amazing what an awesome God he is! Will be praying for your family and your daughter.
That's amazing Alison!! It will be so interesting to hear her story...April was 9 months ago and you had a prompting to pray for her birth mother. Who knows... maybe she was just born:) I already said a prayer. She is in Gods hands and He is holding her.
Girl, I know that must have been heart wrenching for you. I will be praying for your sweet one!
Thank you so much for sharing! I hope that everything is going well for Caroline Faith! I, too, have certainly felt God's promptings throughout this journey, and feel like this is one way we can feel closer to our children (sort of like how we felt the kicks of our bio children when they were in our wombs!) It is encouraging to know that God knows exactly which children will be ours, and He lets us know when something is going on in their lives so that we can pray for them. Close to 2 years ago, my sister and her husband were going through their adoption process. My brother-in-law had some serious health issues, and several members of my family and I fasted and prayed for several days for his health, their adoption, and their lives in general. Later, we found out that at the exact same time we were fasting and praying, their little boy was being relinquished by his birth mother and was making the long journey to Hannah's Hope. God definitely knows what each one of us needs at each moment. May you feel His strength and peace surround you during this time and always.
I have had a few promptings over the past year. and when they come-they COME! You really can't deny the intense feeling you get from them-so I understand! I am praying for her-praying that she is safe! How amazing would it be for her birthday to be Jan. 2nd?
Not weird at all. I actually had the exact same thing happen on Saturday. I was exhauste physically and emotionally and laid down to take a nap and God laid our child on my heart so heavily I spent the time in prayer rather than napping.
WOW! Just prayed for sweet Caroline Faith!
Can't wait to see all these dots connected!
It's a beautiful post and NO you are not crazy! You are listening to the voice of God and being obedient to His word. Caroline is receiving blessings right now that only you will be able to tell her about. Prayers and everlasting peace over your little girl! Everything will be alright.
What a powerful post! I will say a prayer for Caroline Faith.
not weird at all - I will be praying!! The same thing happened to me back in May... a few different times. Tucker wasn't even born yet, but we learned that his birthmom had a very complicated pregnancy and I think that's why I was prompted to pray. I will pray for you and Caroline!
Thanks for your sweet commet on my blog (africanbundleofjoy) when I was down, but, after reading this, you too also were/are in need. You have a huge heart!
So glad you shared, I was praying Sat for strength and guidance, on Sun in church I too heard what I needed to refocus, to understand, to believe and hold faith. Your Caroline Faith will be held in our hearts, held in our prayers as well as your family.
I know, those not adopting, may sometimes think me silly when I discuss my longing for the child we have yet to know, yet to hold, but it is through blog buddies, facing the same challenges, which help day to day to realize this is a journey and a leap of Faith.
Your tears show your love for your little one, that can only be positive. Hope you find continued peace on Wed!
mlynne
Of course I will say a prayer for Caroline. I have only had this happen to me once, back in October. I just knew in my heart that something wasn't right in the world and God needed me to be awake and praying! What a blessing this will be when you can share with her birth family that you were specifically praying for them!
Praying! The Holy Spirit is an amazing gift and I have seen more in this journey then ever before in my life to be obedient to His burdens! There's a reason she needs prayer, one we may never know... but trust the Holy Spirit's tug to pray, it's not weird at all! I'm earnestly praying!
Alison,
I love how God does this...even though it is hard and emotional...it is HIS connection and voice to you. I love that. And, as I was reading it and you posted about praying for her birthmother in April, I couldn't help but count back months...could have been conception in April, and birth now!! I hope you journal these dates...I think the Lord will connect the dots for you (and Caroline) later! I will be praying for her, too! Thank you for posting this and prompting others to pray for her!
Hi!
I recently discovered your blog through a mutual friends'. Just wanted to stop in and say hey! I will be praying for your sweet Caroline Faith. There is a reason God is calling us to pray. May He keep her safe in His watch.
I look forward to following you!
~Jess
http://bringingyoumorethanasong.blogspot.com/
It gives me goosebumps and chills just thinking about it. I know exactly what you're talking about. Who knows what is going on with your daughter at this time, but at least you documented the time/day that you felt this in your heart...and you can look back on it later and say AHA!!!!!
Thank you for sharing. That happened to me once... nothing to do but obey.
Praying for your family...
kelli
Ugh that brings TEARS! So glad that you were LISTENING! I've had one day {or weekend} similar where I just wept for my daughter. Some friends thought she was possibly being born...I guess only time will tell but I think that maybe her birthmom was making a difficult decision that day. I might never know. Saying a prayer for Caroline!
Just AMAZING Alison! I really feel that in due time, God is going to reveal to you why you were prompted by the Holy Spirit to pray at these two seperate times! I am praying for Caroline with you! And will be in prayer for her on Wednesday! Love you sweet friend and can't wait to see you in February, it is going to be a blast... ps. we mail our Official contracts to AGCI tomorrow... I AM SO EXCITED!!!!
praying for Caroline Faith...and will be praying with you Wednesday.
Mandy
Thanks for your honesty. I will be praying for your sweet daughter and trusting that God is surrounding her with His perfect protection!
PRAYING! Thank you for sharing your experience and being vulnerable enough to ask for prayer for your sweet baby.
Thank you for sharing your heart. I'll be praying for little Caroline Faith. This past weekend our daughter has been achingly missing her sister in Ethiopia and just crying for her and worrying about her. As we have prayed for her it's so comforting to know that our God is the most perfect Father to care for all of us!
I know Caroline is safe in God's arms right now. Thank you for sharing your heart.
I'm praying for Caroline right now! This is such a huge journey, and such a spiritually significant one. The Lord is close and He is already filling you with that maternal instinct for her. PRAYING!
This is the hard part... our babies are not safe in our bellies. Mark 10:16 tells us that Jesus took the children in His arms and he blessed them. HE will hold our little ones!
Thank you for sharing this and when we are honest and make ourselves vulnerable we only offer more glory to His story. It will be so interesting to see what was going on in her life at this time. I will be praying for her (especially on Wednesday). Thank you again for sharing your beautiful heart!
Thanks for being real and sharing this. Praying for Caroline today!
Love and blessings!
Jill
Thank you for sharing this, Alison. I prayed for you and Caroline Faith this morning. I even wrote it in my prayer journal and am excited to see how God answers our prayers. Hugs!
Wow. I have cold chills after reading this. I bet when all is done you will see that this was an important day. I remember a friend of mine experiencing something like this and found out later it was the day her daughter was born. I can't wait to see how the Lord shines through.
Praying for you and your sweet baby girl! Love how much the Lord cares for us and our babies!
Wow, look at all these comments. Pray they are blessing and encouraging you! Will also pray for Caroline with you. It will be so amazing to see God connect the dots again as you have in the past. And this is why you are such an example to myself and others - because you are so willing to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and OBEY! Thankful for the example you are to me.
Look at what a great witness you are to all of us! Good for you for stepping out and sharing this story! And look how it has brought even more prayers for sweet Caroline (including from me, BTW)! I had a very similar calling this Fall and I could not shake the feeling. Once I realized it was from God, and Jeff and I got on our knees and prayed, the heaviness lifted. You are already being a precious momma, following God's promptings to pray for your sweet daughter. Maybe you will know why this urgency was present. Maybe you wont. Either way, you can rest in knowing that you called upon God to intervene, and that is the best thing you could do for her! May you have continued peace. And may Wed prayer take you to an even higher peaceful ground. Bless you, friend!
oh, this post just brings tears to my eyes...cause knowing LL's family NOW like I do...I know there were REAL moments of pain and hard decisions...and I know God had us praying for our baby girl ALL at the right times...I pray some day you also get to meet Caroline Faith's first family and all the dots are connect for you..cause really..there is just nothing like it !! Praying for your sweet girl, kristi
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