Today, August 17, 2011 marks exactly 11 MONTHS on the AGCI waitlist for Caroline Faith!!!
This means we are only one month away from being in the "estimated waiting time for referral" of 12-18 months! That makes me really excited and it's hard all the same time! Make sense?
I'm sure it doesn't, but I'll try to explain. One day I find myself so excited with anticipation that I can hardly stand it, and then the next day, I feel discouraged and the wait seems endless. Ya'll remember the old song with the lyrics "So close, yet so far away"?...well, that's sometimes how I feel.
As I was walking and praying early this morning, I felt that God wanted me to hear something from Him. It wasn't until the very end of the walk (after I had poured my heart out to Him), that I heard Him keep saying, "Give thanks. Be thankful."
I feel like I try to be thankful. But then I realized how much I tend to complain about the wait, and re-doing the paperwork, and not having our August number yet, and referrals slowing down, blah, blah, blah...
Yeah, maybe I am not doing a good job of giving thanks and having a grateful heart. So, that is where I am today at 11 months on the waitlist - confessing my "ungratefulness" to the Lord, and asking Him to give me a heart of thanksgiving, praise and joy...even in the wait!
Okay, here are just some things I am thankful for today:
That God has called us to walk this amazing journey of adoption to our daughter!
That we have made it 11 months on the waitlist!!!
For our 4 precious children that God has given us...and that I have 3 home with me right now to love and nurture and enjoy!
My wonderful, godly husband who puts up with me (and my emotions) everyday...and loves me anyway!
That I had a great first day back at teaching preschool to a precious class of 3 year olds! I love my job!!!
For precious fellow adoptive moms here in town that I can get together with and share our hearts!
That our adoption of Caroline Faith is FULLY FUNDED!!!
For sweet family and friends who are praying for us, loving us, supporting us and encouraging us on this journey. We are blessed!
For my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ...who is always constant! Even when my emotions are all over the place, He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is always faithful.
I hate to tell you this, but your Mommy isn't perfect. I mess up all the time. I don't always have the right attitude, and sometimes I complain way too much. I want you home, and I don't always wait patiently like I should. I know that God is using this long wait time to prune some things in my life and refine me, so that I can be a better Mommy to you, when you do come home. I know He is preparing me. Today I am just so thankful for you, and for this journey that we are on to bring you home. It's not always easy, but God is always faithful. Your story is being beautifully written by Jesus. You are wanted. You are longed for. You are LOVED...and you always will be, no matter what.
Hold on, baby girl. We love you, and we're coming soon.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, WITH THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6