Today, February 17, 2012 marks exactly 17 MONTHS on the AGCI waitlist for our baby girl in Ethiopia!
So, today is the 17th day of the month, and we just finished 17 months of "officially" waiting, and we're at #17 on the waitlist. Hmmmm, interesting..lots of the number 17 going on right now! :)
I don't even know where to begin with all that God has been teaching me lately. I have struggled lately with how much time has gone by since God first told me His plan for our family to adopt from Ethiopia (over 2 years), and how much time has gone by since we sent in our adoption application and officially started the process (over 21 months). I struggle with the fact that our baby (Caty) was 2 years old when God first told me His plan to bring Caroline Faith into our family, and now I am starting to plan our "baby's" 5 year old birthday party.
A lot of life has been lived in the past 2 and a half years. But my challenge has always been this...how do I balance staying emotionally attached to Caroline Faith and her adoption process AND stay fully engaged in the lives of the three precious children who are home with us now? Just being honest here...this has been hard for me.
I don't think that I have quite achieved that balance yet, but God is working on me. But if there's one thing I have learned in the past 17 months of waiting, it's this...NOTHING is constant except God.
Life moves on. Paperwork expires. Waiting times increase. Government adoption policies change.
And with all that...My faith waivers. My hope falters. My worry builds. My passion fades.
But thankfully HE remains constant, true, stable, trustworthy and always faithful. Always faithful.
That's what keeps me going month after month after month...God's constant faithfulness. His gentle reminders that He is with us. His soft whispers that He is in control. His quiet confirmations that this is His plan. His sweet reassurance that this wait is all part of His timing.
It is only in His arms that I can truly find rest, and I truly feel Him carrying me through this part of our adoption journey. There is definitely just one set of footprints in this chapter of my life...and they are His.
To our precious Caroline Faith,
Words can't even describe how much we ache for you, baby girl. We long to see your face, know your story, and bring you home to our family. Your brother and sisters pray for you every day, and they talk about you all the time. You are going to be completely smothered with hugs and kisses when you get home!
Your daddy and I are praying and fasting today for you. We are crying out to God on your behalf. We are taking this day to completely surrender everything to the Lord...including you and our journey to you. We want you home soon, but we want His will above all else.
We aren't sure how much longer the Lord will ask us to wait for you. And we don't know what the road ahead will look like, but we will walk forward in full faith and trust in our Heavenly Father. He alone makes all things new.
Hold on, baby girl. We love you and we're coming soon.
"Hear me, Lord, my plea is just; listen to my cry. Hear my prayer—" Psalm 17:1