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I have to admit, it was very hard to type those words just then. Those are words that I hoped and prayed that I would never have to type. It has been hard to imagine what it would feel like to sit on the waiting list for over 24 months. But today that has become a reality.
We have now entered the time frame that I have been referring to in my mind as "no man's land"...or "no adoptive mama's land" maybe I should say because it's a territory that no adoptive mama ever wants to enter! :)
Our agency used to give us waitlist time frame estimates like "9-12 months", "12-18 months" or "18-24 months". It seems we have reached every single time frame right as they extended it. Now our agency is just saying that families can expect to wait on the waitlist for "24 months or longer".
Ahhh...those two words "or longer" are not fun. They are very unknown, very indefinite. But here we are in that time frame of "or longer" where we are literally just praying and asking and believing God for a MIRACLE!!!
That's why I have (once again!) changed my title on these monthly posts to "25 Months and BELIEVING"! As we have hit the 17th of each month, I have documented about our journey. For the first 12 months, I titled the posts, "1 Month and Counting", "2 Months and Counting", etc. Once we finally hit the 12 month mark, I changed the title of the posts to "12 Months and Hoping", "13 Months and Hoping", etc. Then when we finally hit the 18 month mark, I changed it to "18 Months and PRAYING", "19 Months and PRAYING", etc.
But now, I will be using the word "BELIEVING" because that is exactly what we are doing. We are fasting and praying and pleading and asking and crying and begging God for a MIRACLE for our baby girl! And all the while, we are believing that the God we serve...the GOD OF THE IMPOSSIBLE...can do ANYTHING!!! I still believe in MIRACLES!
I am praying for some specific miracles for our adoption journey and for our baby girl, and I can't wait to see how God answers! But I have to be honest that this is a very hard season for me as a mama. I have been very sentimental and emotional today. Please continue to lift us up to the Father.
I usually don't share what I write in my prayer journal, but I am feeling like I just need to open up my heart today. I pray that our daughter will one day read all these posts and know how we have loved her and prayed for her over the past 25 months on this waitlist.
Dear Jesus,
Some days (like today), I feel like I can't do this wait for even one more day. I feel like I am at the end of my rope. But right when I get to the end of me, that's where You are waiting to pick me up. You give me the strength to go on when I don't think I can. You give me the grace to make it another day on this journey of praying our daughter home.
Please, Lord, hear my cry to You. Please hear my prayer and answer according to Your perfect will...
Please, Jesus, let us see the face of our daughter very soon. Please pour out Your mercy, justice and favor on our adoption journey.
Jesus, please bring her HOME.
Amen
"In You, LORD my God, I put my trust."
Psalm 25:1
9 comments:
Oh sweet Alison, I am believing with you. You'll never know how much you all are on my mind and how often our family is praying for you and your Caroline Faith.
Your faith is such a light in this world.
XO
Alison- My heart goes out to you. Your wait has been so, so long and it hurts so when you are waiting for your child.
You have waited so long - I think of you often. May God answer your prayers and show you the face of your sweet daughter SOON! Can't wait to hear all about it!
God is daily placing your family on my heart, and I am faithfully lifting you up in prayer. I wish I could express to you that Caroline will be oh so worth the wat! As I rock Saylor to sleep each day, I am reminded God brought her home not one day late. I can't wait to hear about your referral in His perfect timing!
Love you!! Praying!!
God brings you to my heart and mind so often, and I ask Him to hold you close and keep you trusting in what you cannot see. He will be faithful to bring Caroline Faith home. May He do so soon!
Praying for you, dear Friend. In John 17:24, Jesus prays "Father I desire that they also whom you have given me might be with me where I am." Jesus UNDERSTANDS!
I pray for you guys in your wait. I know how hard it is...don't worry, the Lord is in charge and will reward you with a gift more beautiful than you can imagine :) All is well.
The wait has been so long and it can be so discouraging. Thank you for reminding me to BELIEVE and to pray boldly.
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