I have to be honest that it surprised me how emotional I got as I shared parts of our story. It's been over 6 months since Caroline Faith came home, and I didn't think it would be as hard emotionally to walk back through our journey. I am thankful that it was though. I pray that the Lord will always keep my heart soft and vulnerable to how He grew us and sustained us during the long wait.
I haven't forgotten the pain and the raw emotion of the wait, and I hope that I don't. But the joy that has come from finally having Caroline Faith home definitely helps that hard season of waiting fade into the background. Isn't that just how God works? He brings such life and joy from some of our darkest times and then His redemption just covers the pain. His faithfulness overwhelms us to the point where our hearts feel full to the point of bursting.
Even at this very moment, the tears fill my eyes as I think back on God's faithfulness over the past 4 years. There were some times where I truly felt like I was in a pit of despair and could not carry on even one more day waiting. But even then, He was there. He never failed to meet me exactly where I was, and He always gave me the grace and strength I needed to make it another day.
I guess that's one of the biggest things I learned. He is enough. His Word is life-giving. Depending on Him day by day, even moment by moment, is truly the best way to live. He is always always always faithful. And now on the other side of our miracle, I can look back with a heart of thankfulness for what He allowed us to go through. We needed it. And He knew we needed it.
His timing (THANKFULLY!!!) is not always our timing, but it is always perfect. There are so many ways that God used the long wait for our good. And I am sure we will begin to see even more as time goes by. If you search the Scriptures, you will see all the many times that God used waiting to bring His people closer to Him and to grow their faith.
I love that our children learned at such an early age about what it looks like to wait on the Lord. I truly believe that they grew in their faith during this journey just as we did. I hope that they will look back one day and remember what they learned.
Life has gotten full and busy staying home with 4 little ones, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. The Lord is giving me much peace and contentment during this season, and I know this is what He has called me to do. Spring is here, and we are beginning to come out of our attachment cocoon and live out this life that He has for our family. Since having Caroline home, we have learned better how to simplify and it's been a welcome (and much needed) change for us.
Our lives are all for Him, and I pray that we will live each and every day for His glory. It keeps all the craziness and the worries of this world in perspective when we remember our purpose on this earth...to glorify Him.
We have tasted and seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. And we are forever changed.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good."