Thursday, October 20, 2011

New October 2011 Number!!!

Well, it looks like I am going to have to start putting the year behind the month on my post titles! Since we have been on the waitlist for over a year, this is our second "October Number"!

One year ago, our October number was #83! We received our email this afternoon from K, our AGCI case worker, telling us that our October 2011 number is...


#22!!!

Well, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little disappointed to only move ONE spot this month. My heart did sink a little when I saw the number 22. But after not moving AT ALL from May to June, I am thankful to be at least one spot closer this month to our baby girl!

I had been hoping for the TEENS for this month, but I guess that just wasn't God's plan. A few weeks ago, I was reading my life journal reading in Philippians. This verse really jumped off the page...

"Do everything without complaining..." Philippians 2:14

When I read the above verse, I was immediately convicted. It says to do EVERYTHING without complaining, and for me, that includes WAITING!

To wait without complaint...just being honest here, that is a struggle for me. God is working on me though. I have to make a choice to be thankful and have faith. And I love this verse I read this morning...

"If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself." 2 Timothy 2:13

I am so thankful today that even when my faith waivers, He is still faithful! When I start to complain in the wait, He is still faithful! When I don't have a thankful heart, He is still faithful! When I start to want my timeline instead of His, He is still faithful! When I forget His plan and get caught up in what I want, He is still faithful!

He always remains faithful, because He is God! He cannot NOT be faithful. It isn't possible for Him, or He would be denying Himself and who He is. Praise God!!! There is no way in the world, I could walk this adoption journey without the Lord and His faithfulness! I would be a complete MESS without Him in my life!

Yes, it's hard to sometimes feel like we are moving so slow to Caroline Faith. I cry. A lot. But God is always picking me back up and reminding me of His goodness, His faithfulness and His plan.

And then it's like this beautiful exchange happens. He takes my discouragement and replaces it with joy. He takes my fear and replaces it with faith. He takes my worry and replaces it with peace. Only God can do that!!!

So, today I am going to choose to be thankful to be at #22!!! And really, it's a whole lot closer than #83 was a year ago! :)

Caroline Faith is going to come home on the exact day that God has ordained long ago...and today I will rest in His will and choose to trust Him.

"They cried to You and were saved; in You they trusted and were not disappointed." Psalm 22:5

10 comments:

erica said...

I love your positive attitude!!! I know how hard the waiting is, but it will all be worth it when you get to hold your precious baby girl in your arms. She is worth every minute of the wait, and someday, it won't seem like it really took that long. Blessings to you today and every day. I'm hoping for LOTS of movement SOON! How about a repeat of last October? :)

Christy said...

Today has been a hard day of learning to wait for me in different ways, so I can totally relate. I am praying for you as always, and excited to see HIS story pan out when you are finally able to see His perfect timing. Booked my C4C flight today, btw, and so excited to finally meet you in person! :)

mlynne said...

We didn't get our numbers today by sort of was thinking it would be one or two, thus, prepared myself for that this month. I AM hopeful that the real movement comes next month since then the courts will have been open for a bit.

Alison, I so, so "get" how you are feeling, but, still realizing your enduring Faith and realizing that God has this all planned. From time to time we all have those day but through this journey which for us started so many years ago in Taiwan, I have really felt like God is guiding us and letting us know in so many various ways that he is walking with us, strengthening us, giving us tools to be the best parents we can be. I often thank him for being our roadmap, compass, guide and for his patience with me.

Thanks for sharing....
mlynne

Colin and Jess said...

I love that verse that goes with #22. I think it is a good number. A sweet one. It sure does remind us that God is in control. He knows when you will reach #1. And it is the best timing possible for you! Can't wait for those tears of yours to be because you are finally holding Caroline Faith!

liv said...

Thanks, Alison. This was good for me today :)

Erin said...

I just wanted to say "Hi" b/c I was catching up on your blog! I can't wait till I see "REFERRAL!!!" on your blog. Can't wait to hear all of the details of what God has done in Caroline Faith's life! I am so glad you are one step closer to her! The wait is so hard, but a sweet time with the Lord all at one time. Much love to your sweet family....

Brad and Carrie said...

One of the things I love about the entire adoption process, is to watch the Lord's timing unfold. He needs to slow things down at times and then randomly speed them up, just to bring home the exact child that He has for you. Excited that you're getting closer!

Hannah said...

I wish it had moved more for you but at least it's still moving! We'll take it!!

Kelli said...

When you see her sweet face- everything else will melt away. Praying for you- and your journey.

rejoiceandbeglad said...

I am right there with you. We haven't moved in several months (well we did move one spot but I am not sure how...there was not a referral that month). It is frusterating but I am constantly reminding myself that my faith is not dependant on my circumstances or my feelings.
Waiting with you,
Becca