Honestly, it seems almost surreal to be writing this post today. Never once on September 17, 2010 did I ever imagine we would STILL be on the waitlist 31 months later. Never once. And I am really glad that at that point, I had no idea of the wait that was to come. I don't think my emotions could have handled it at that point. I would have told you that I could never make it that long on the waitlist for our daughter.
But by God's grace alone, we are hanging in there. Month after month, we are persevering in the wait. Some days are better than others. Last night was hard. I told Jody that I think the "weight of the wait" is starting to affect me physically. I have already battled the wait emotionally, mentally and spiritually and now I think it's affecting my physical body as well. This spiritual battle thing is TOUGH.
I felt so thick in the battle this morning, that I was calling on the name of Jesus OUT LOUD as I was walking around my neighborhood. Ya'll, I so wish ya'll lived in my neighborhood. I know people think I am the "crazy walking lady who talks to herself"! Haha! :) But there is power in the name of Jesus!!! Christ alone is the only reason I have made it this far in the wait. In Him alone.
Well, today is 31 months. Never thought it (or wanted it) myself, but it's God's plan. It's like I told one of my sweet preschoolers this morning...there are days when you just feel sad and pouty, but you have to choose JOY. As I was saying it to her, I realized that is exactly what the Lord was saying to me today too. You gotta make a choice to keep going, trust in the Lord, count your blessings and cultivate a heart of thankfulness. You gotta make a choice to believe that His ways are higher.
I really do believe that! And I can't wait for the day He has chosen for us!
To our little darling,
Lately I have been praying a new prayer for you, little one.
I am praying that God will give you a miracle, and that your story will forever be a testimony of His love and faithfulness. I pray that every time we look at you, we will be reminded of the miracle of God's goodness. I pray that every one who hears your story will have a chance to hear about the saving love of Christ.
I pray that you will be a living testimony of God's mercy and grace. I pray that He will be glorified fully in our journey to bring you home. I pray that many will come to faith in Jesus Christ as a result of hearing all that He's done in your life.
We are trusting Him as we wait on His timing, Caroline Faith. We can't wait until that joyful day when we see your face! We believe that our "weeping may stay for the night, but JOY comes in the morning!" (Psalms 30:5)
Hold on, baby girl. We love you and we're coming soon.
"But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD, I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in Your hand."