Monday, May 6, 2013

3 Years.

THREE YEARS ago today, on May 6, 2010, our application to adopt from Ethiopia was APPROVED by our adoption agency, All God's Children International!!!

I will never forget the joy and excitement that I felt on that day!  We were so excited to finally tell our friends our BIG NEWS!!!  We had told our family when we mailed our application to AGCI, and now that we were approved it was time to share the news with the rest of our world!  Our video announcement was made, and we couldn't wait to post it on the blog the very next morning.

I don't know how to describe my emotions on this same day 3 years later.  The joy and excitement are still there, as we are nearing the finish of a very long wait to be matched with our daughter.  But there are other emotions to be sure...longing, desire, sadness, peace, hope, wonder.  Such a random mixture, I know.  Yes, you could probably call me an "emotional basket case" right now.  :)

 I am just so ready.  I feel more than ready.  I think our family is ready.  The kids are ready.  The room is ready.  The baby girl clothes hanging in the closet are ready.  My heart is ready.

Ready, ready, ready...but we still wait.

So, I just have to believe that even though WE feel like we are ready, God knows better.  Maybe our daughter still isn't ready for us.  Maybe He still has some things He needs to cultivate in us.  Our pastor's sermon this past Sunday was all about perseverance.  I had tears in my eyes the whole time.  We are learning how to persevere.

3 YEARS...and counting.  We may never know the purpose of the long wait this side of heaven, and that's okay.  I am going to have to just leave the years in the hands of my Father and trust Him.  He knows way better than I do.  And I truly believe we'll see our daughter's face when He's ready.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,  who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.  In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,  so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;  and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,  obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls."
1 Peter 1: 3-9


Andrea Walker said...

I still praise God for allowing me to meet you & your sweet family last spring here in Dallas! I pray for you and Caroline Faith often and eagerly await the day she is home! Praying today that you are reminded of His sovereignty and feel His presence all around you. I love hearing your heart and your deep love for Caroline through your blog posts. Your sincerity and FAITHfulness are such an encouragement to me.

Andrea Walker

Unknown said...

Oh, sweet friend, I didn't realize how close to the same time we started our adoptions. I am still praying with you and for you- that His peace will reign supreme and you will lean in to Him during this long, long, LONG wait. Thank you for your faithfulness all throughout- you are waiting WELL. Much love to you!

Rachelle said...

Hugs to you.

cal+claire said...

The good news is that after 3 years of waiting, most likely that will not compare to the amount of time you get to spend with her. Sometimes God's purposes seem so far away, so hard to grasp (at least for me) and I have to just put a stake in the ground and claim His promises as near me regardless of my emotions. It doesn't feel great, but it gets me through.